Getting Dirty- Space and Rabbit Holes

Still after 14 weeks, I am amazed by all the baggage that keeps cropping up. I definitely have had some "space" open up. It is an eye opening experience bringing clarity to some behaviors and making me really examine some others. I cannot say I am enjoying the process. I find it interesting, but painful. I guess I knew some of these deep, dark rabbit holes were out there but there have been some I really was not cognitive of until I was laying in the bottom of them kind of bewildered. Raw, open wounds from past relationships, 30 years of hearing about how to manage my weight (from both people who have weight problems themselves and people who have never had to be concerned about their weight- these would be my parents), emotional eating because I am pissed at the people who lecture me about my weight (how wrong is that), no postitive reinforcement from these same people when I was managing my weight in times past, and an overwhelming need to be all things to all people all the time. Yuck. I feel a little guilty (surprise, surprise) because earlier in the Project, Kelly posted about running into these sorts of things and in a moment of blog bravado, my comment was to stick some dynamite down those rabbit holes and blow them wide open and face it head on. Wow- pretty damn cocky. I apologize Kelly. I realize now it is not that easy...definitely messy and I am really not sure what to do with some of it now that I dug it up.

Plug for Local Service

First I just want to say I am not an investor nor do I get any kick backs- I just have recently tried this service and enjoyed it so I thought I'd pass it on.

Several weeks ago Chris posted several options for those looking for community supported agriculture (csa) in Indy. One of the options was Farm Fresh Delivery at farmfreshdelivery.com. I have been using them for two weeks and I find their pricing competitive, their selection great and the service outstanding. Unlike typical csa, you can customize your produce order and you can add on non produce items also. Almost everything is organic and they source locally when possible. Their meat selection is amazing- I have not tried it yet but they recently added biodynamic beef from southern Indiana (I know I love biodynamic wine so how bad can beef be?). So far, the produce has been exceptional.

You know ahead of time the produce you are getting so you can plan accordingly. You also can order every week or every other week and suspend orders when you are out of town, etc. No contracts or anything so you can cancel at any time. If you can get 5 orders going to your office you can save an additional 5% on your order.

I am still up in the air about delivery and being ecofriendly but I figure buying locally can only help. If you have thoughts on this I would be interested in hearing them.

I still plan on planting my own organic veggie garden this summer but this will be a nice backup when the rabbits get first pick!

For These Women, I Walk

10 years ago today I was in Atkinson, IL with my boyfriend’s (now my husband) family. His Mom had fought cancer for 7 years- starting with breast cancer but finally spreading to her lungs. Her condition had worsened and everyone gathered at Dave’s parent’s home. I hardly knew Dave’s Mom, Sallye. Dave and I started dating in August and I had met her for the first time in October but I did know she had given this fight her all. Now, she was unconscious from morphine in a hospital bed in the living room of her home. Sallye continued to fight until her all of her children made it home and her older sister came down from Wisconsin and then she passed with her family around her.

My Aunt Peggy also fought the fight for well over 10 years. She lost her beautiful blond hair that I loved to comb when I was a little girl but she never lost her gusto for life. Nothing stopped her. She traveled everywhere, volunteered at the elementary school down the street, raised a son, and gardened- all with no complaints. Her feet would be the size of footballs after chemo but she would put on slippers and just keep going. She had lost her husband to cancer 16 years prior and now was faced leaving her son with no parents but she was never bitter or angry. She lived everyday happy and fulfilled- an amazing lesson that I need to keep closer to my heart.

And the AMAZING survivors I know: Linda Gilkerson, my Aunt Betty Jo, Glenda Forgan, and LuAnn Linker- all incredible testaments of courage and strong will. I feel fortunate to know so many survivors, women who remind me on a daily basis that cancer does not have to be a death sentence and that you can overcome. It also reminds me that breast cancer does not discriminate, no one is immune and I must be diligent in protecting and educating myself. I turned 40 last August and I will have my first mammogram later this spring.

I hope I am never faced with cancer of any sort. I know that my progress towards wellness the past 13 weeks is a huge benefit in prevention. But if I am faced with something, I only hope I can call on the spirit of all these women to overcome the challenge. It is in honor of these women, and all women like them, that I walk the Race for the Cure on Saturday.

Cliche but true...

Gently used healthy eating books sold at Half Price Books: $4.50
New Shoes at The Running Company: $130.00
Going through the BTWG Experience with this community: Priceless

Thank you all for making this experience everything it has been to date. I know this community and Chris' guidance made all the difference.

Shin Splints

Can someone give me the "411" on shin splints. I get them all the time and I really hate them. I have new shoes from Running Co so I am hoping that helps. I am trying to be more consistent with stretching. Any other tips?